I need to go to the gym or go out for a run or something to get into shape...?

in order to be ready for cross country and track next year since all of this year i was either sick or injured adn was out for both seasons. i just recently got better and now i feel so soggy and out of shape and cannot believe i let myself get to this point but i didnt really have much option with my situation. case in point: i have no self esteem now. i want to go out for a run or to the gym or something but i cant motivate myself to go do it unless there is literally no one possibly out at like 2 a.m. or something (and then curfew is in the way) because i dont want people watching or seeing me and i dont want to go out trying to run for 20 or so minutes and looking and feeling exceptionally un-fit when i cant get anywhere close and im red and gasping. advice? please?